Wednesday, January 7

standing on the cliff

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain
and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and
their splendor.
"All this I will give you," he said,
"if you will bow down and worship me."
Matthew 4:8-9

I believe that at certain times we are led to the cliff where we must decide who we are and what we are willing to do. For some, the cliff is a pivotal moment where we either live up to our potential or give into our base desires. For others, it is an opportunity that we seize or we shy away from because of doubt and fear. Sometimes what we see over the cliff is what we truly want, but other times the cliff only shows a seemingly easier path that our soul knows is wrong.

I've been on the cliff quite a few times -- sometimes I've fallen over into regret and sometimes I've been true to myself. But lately, I have found myself at that point frequently and now I am wavering. Wavering because of uncertainty. Wavering because I cannot look over the cliff and then back down the mountain and see a right and wrong path.

I now look back down the mountain and see only mistakes. The straight path is lost to me and I fear that I cannot find it again. The cliff is inviting because the lowlands are shrouded in fog and I cannot see the troubles that I've encountered before. Uncertainty has become attractive.

I never knew why some psalms ended with a certain word and still I do not know the precise meaning of the word. But it seems appropriate at this moment. Selah.

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